They speak of sirens

They speak of sirens.. even the children do. While playing with toy cars this little boy doesn't imagine streetlights or honking, he and his friend practice the noise of sirens.
A siren is a cause for alarm. This is the second or third time during my stay here that I've concentrated on the sirens. I enter and the place is in hysterics. I try to carry on as if nothing is going on. I want to know why there are two police cars outside... but I don't want to know.
Someone just decides to tell me. Social worker is taking away four of OUR kids. Our is the appropriate word here because the whole community feels this loss. A child runs up and hugs me and asks is jess getting taken away. I'm like yes honey that's exactly what is happening here. Little M looks up at us and gets lied to. We tell her that its just for a short while but we don't really know. She looks at me and says I'm getting taken away arent I? I look down and say "I KNOW" and I sit down.
The phrase "taken away" is starting to piss me off. Why do you keep saying that? You are not a toy or an object honey. No one can really take you away. But they can. The social worker is "taking them away".
My whole body is wanting to fix this. My emotions are intense because I can't no one can. I can sit down next to the mother and watch her fall apart and hug her. I can see that she's not suicidal and going to stay safe. I CAN'T FIX it. I can't bring those kids back into her home. I can take her to get them school supplies and not even know if they are coming back.
That is just it. I don't have to. I can just be there in the chair next to her. I can make siren noises with the kids. My job isn't to fix it but to be another character in the story that is their life... a participant and and not a spectator. They may speak of sirens .. but they are not the only ones.

" It's worth it brother. It's worth it friend. To know your maker to lose yourself Do you know that you are dearly loved?"

Untouchable

I know its been a while since I wrote last. We've been on retreat and we've also experienced alot over here. The question I keep asking (in my head) is how do you keep fighting for a better tommorow when you are having enough trouble getting through today? What happens when you cannot separate who you are and what you have done? I wish everyone's story had a completely unadulterated happy ending. However, sometimes joy is not pure. Sometimes the pain is mixed with the healing and you have to validate what is there.

I think the following Nouwen quote illustrates this " We are chosen and blessed. When we have truly owned this, have said "Yes" to it. Then we can face our own and others' brokenness with open eyes.

Beauty in the Brokenness

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. Mother Teresa

Being at Joshua Station has presented the opportunity not only to learn of struggle and brokenness but of hope and beauty. Between social workers checking up on kids, and incarceration records keeping people from housing, there are people getting their first full-time "real" jobs, people finding hope in Christ and people having their case files closed. There is the laughter of the children as they play on the playground or as they race each other around the parking lot with their bikes. There are stuffed animals that are about 3 feet tall. There are fights and late night movies. There are family members and old JS families that visit.

Joshua Station is well not very stationary. There is always a ton of activities going on. There is women's fellowship, women's bible study, Kids club, VBS, teen group and then there are a fair amount of staff activities designed to help you think and grow spiritually like Street Psalms and Leading from Below. It is also hard to live in community and community and to be constantly surrounded by people.

A lot of being around the families and hanging out with the kids has caused me to really question incarnational ministry. I mean its great but how do you measure its successes or failures. How do you know if you are really making a difference? And maybe we can never know... but for now the answer is for me in the children's faces, and the women's' uplifted eyes.

"It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters." Mother Teresa

40 Days by the Freeway

Hi

My name is Sarah Francois. I am twenty years old and an InnerCHANGE summer exchange intern. I am currently sitting at a computer in the Denver Public Library and will be the main writer for this blog entitled: Sub-merged in Denver 40 days by the freeway. I will be sharing with you what InnerCHANGE is, who is apart of the Denver team and what it is we are doing here.

InnerCHANGE is a christian order among the poor. In lamens terms, they are people who love Jesus Christ and wish to follow his example in living out Micah 6:8 ( love mercy, do justice and walk humbly with God). They do not wish to simply go and do good and then go home but instead seek to be apart of the marginalized communities that they minister into. So they move into poor neighborhoods, hang out with gang youth and share in the joys and sorrows of that community. They have different teams that go different places. This summers teams are going to South Africa, Denver, Guatemala, NOLA and there is a mobile home team.

I am on the Denver team along with Rebekah ( our fearless leader who has her roots in India and Hong Kong) and Katie ( our newly graduated scholar from Ohio). We are living among and hanging out with the people of Joshua Station. Joshua Station is a program of mile high ministries that works with families in transition. They offer:

• Clean, safe and affordable long-term (12-18 months) lodging for homeless families in crisis.
• A holistic center, in which a variety of organizations come together to address the substantial needs of our target population.
• A place to rebuild spiritually, emotionally, and even physically.
• An opportunity for those who are mentally and spiritually ready to stabilize their lives, to save money toward their transition to long-term stable housing.

Stay tuned for more from JS.